Cathcon translation of
Darf ich Ihnen meinen kleinen Heiland vorstellen? Der kann auferstehen!
Can I give you my small saviour? He can rise!
Link to the pictures here- deeply offensive
"Priests and women – do they go together?" asked the German tabloid magazine 'Spiegel' on 22 February in a supposedly satirical contribution about the celibacy of Catholic clerics.
When the chairman of the German Bishops' Conference - Archbishop Robert Zollitsch of Freiburg, raised the celibacy question - 'Spiegel' said: "Celibacy must go!" – a "heated debate" raged in Church circles. (Cathcon- thank you Archbishop- wonderful move to promote the Catholic Faith)
The abolition of celibacy would stimulate the diminishing number of priestly vocations and open new contemporary questions to the priest.
'Spiegel' Online cites three: "How do you learn and where to get to know women? What do talk about with them? Blond or brunette? "
The contribution consists of 13 photographs of priests and bishops, in which the 'Spiegel Online has added balloons with mostly raunchy statements, commenting on the situation as if celibacy had been recently abolished.
The first photo shows priest in a Roman collar, after the end of celibacy in a group session practicising getting to know women:
"Can I give you my small saviour? He can rise! "
or: "Come up with a host?"
The second photo shows Cardinal Joachim Meisner concelebrating with Cardinal Karl Lehmann and he raises the consecrated host at the "Behold the Lamb of God".
The balloon is inserted over the Cologne Cardinal who holds the Host in the hand and he is thinking, "I think Julia Roberts is the very cute! or will I marry Anne Will…(well-known German newscaster) "
Cardinal Lehmann replies: "Please concentrate on the job!" - And thinks: "But he must offer more than this dry bread…"
Another concelebrant, whose face is not visible on the photograph says: "Why marry immediately? First rehearse."
The fourth picture shows Pope Benedict XVI in a Baroque church, surrounded by priests. One of the priests kisses his ring. The Pope commented: "You kiss somehow softer, guys. Have you practiced secretly?"
From the back of the priest, a reply: "Yes, with me".
Figure 6 shows a Vatican auditorium with bishops who are gathered to visit the Pope on an ad Limina visit. A Bishop speaks into the microphone and just says to the Pope: "… we would like to have a intimate dancing evening held in the cellar, also with errr… women."
In Figure 9, a young Dominican reads an ad in the Vatican daily newspaper, Osservatore Romano: "Sweet mouse (TV) seeks the solvent Lord, GV, AV, SM, röm-cath, NS…"
The Dominican is thinking: "SM is Sanctissimum but TV? Tabernacle worship (Cathcon- verehrung in German)? "
Figure 11 shows a close-up of the Chairmen of the Italian Bishops' Conference, Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco of Genoa, at the Holy Thursday liturgy, kissing a foot that he has just washed thinking: "Well, this sexuality is overrated!"
In Figure 12 finally speaks Bishop Walter Mixa of Augsburg to the Archbishop of Munich Reinhard Marx: "If the celibacy been repealed, then have we to marry within our own circles!"
"Are you thinking of gay marriage?" - Answered him archbishop of Munich.